VIOLENT POETRY

Jadeturm Live Session 2022

Her Enchanted Hair Was The First Gold

Once Lilith came to speak to me:
„See, I’m your seed, you are my tree.

To heavens high your rage shall strive
Grow buds and brenches, shine and thrive!
You precious child, sweet sprout of mine follow my call, my love divine!“

Her voice was gale, but oh so bright.
Her teeth flashed up in pearly white
A smile so frail,
and eyes so fierce
she smelled like bale,
like lust and tears.

So, what I was is petty now
What I’ll become, a seedy vow
I’m tearing down. It was, we were.
What’s left is artworks, marked by her.

And from the fragments of my deed
my self-sown stones sprout fragile feet
of anxious hope and blackest ink
still longing for a glimpse, a blink.

While piece by piece fall into place
they even grow, get strong, gain grace.

Lilith’s still here and I’m her child
I am as uncertain as wild.
She trapped me in and set me free.
I’m my own seed, I am a tree.

Systrophe

Conceal, don’t cleave.
Come down, then breathe.
Hold fast onto
what you once showed,
what you once knew,
and you once trowed.

See; every eye mocks jaded shine
Those tricky trees fall into line
My feet cling to the coma clouds:
My toes and legs but leaves and boughs.

Once more: Arouse!

From where once elderflowers grew
A tarnish creeps into my view
Obscure, yet relied
Distrust, I confide.

You feast on me
while I drift deeper.
I ingrain into you
Attentive sleeper
With blackened brow and cloying tongue
A vast of hymns remain unsung.

I feast on you
Your hands are mine
We’re cyan chimes,
Are scarlet twine.

Unlashed, long-lost
Awake again,
First orage-tossed
remorseful then.
In awe I kneel, indign, am slight:
A poached enigma in anthracite light.
Epiphany lingers, deriding disguise
Vestige of my ruin, reroot in the skies.

Have Heart, Waste Flesh (2020)

Acoria the Indulgent

I parade on a needle
my idle feet dwell on a sting
since your endearment wheedles
my flattered peace into a bloodshot spring

where Narcissus and Tulips bloom
I breathe and break, first veil then groom
nursing one, cursing the other
sincerely striving from smoke into smother

prig as the sparrow stops to sing
barren as moss too tired to cling
I incessantly hound, ever rash, ever northbound
always aloof of some holier ground

I ever shiver, ever quiver
hustling hither, bustling thither
amid your loving lucid dreams
my uniqueness is arbitrary
the great indulgence, the luminary
it`s all pretending I am parching
I am starving where you feast

am I healing or annealing
are you the beauty or are you the beast?

Mania the Virtous

I’m sucking sadness from your guts
an ugly mug that thrills and cuts
bile and burden
lymph and blood
our surreal sermon
never shuts

I am the laughter in your heart
as arteries narrow, feeble, tart
meat that burgeons
perfect art
on display
on coffin carts

everything to be
and everything to happen
lives or just dies
and is forgotten

snaps and sighs
and is forgiven
rotten
You are rotten
and reborn

You’re staining leaves, sharpening thorns
a feeble tongue that now adorns
the hubris in your scented cries
the nectar streaming from your eyes
you drip I swallow
feast and wallow
calyx, soma, candycoma
munching, crunching, suffocate

everything to be
and everything to happen
lives or just dies
and is forgotten
snaps and sighs
and is forgiven
rotten
rotten
rotten
rotten
from the blossom
to the bottom
misbegotten

Exodus the Wayward

And I see nothing, bewildered eyes
swinging across these prudish plains,
everything drained
How could I trade
Your nectar?
for gritty sands; for arid grains
A handshake is the only keep-sake
revoked,
waving then
downtrodden hands
Wouldn’t dare a glance
not for a groat nor for a grand

Oh Muse for the stars
wherever you are
Wherever your hands mar; absconding
parallel worlds, dimensions reborn
whitewards, deathwards
opaque reminders
still staining, refraining
colliding grains, puzzling stains
Abused amusements
Oh Muse, amourphous
your Highness
Are you still up there?

kissing stars
fucking stars
raping stars
cohering scars
eating stars
their humble flesh
covetous flesh
delicious flesh
astral flesh
Becoming starflesh
Muse meat
Empress meat
Beast meat
One meat

Let us break
hearts
for one another

„Have a little faith“, why do you shudder?
Let us break our hearts for one another
For „our faith is the victory that overcometh the world“
Let us break our hearts for one another
„Have a little faith“, why do you shudder?
we are the tribute, our own Last supper
Let us break our hearts for one another
For „our faith is the victory that overcometh the world“

Let our love be the victory forsaking the world
someday
forever
I know we can

d.é.o.m.é. (2018)

Plethora

„He who has an ear, let him hear“
She who as an eye, let her witness

I am anxious, full of fear
Crying craven to my weakness

Trembling, cramping
neat but drear
I’m sowing thorns, I utter lies
seem surely poised, am cowardice

However I’m crafting this confusion,
you’re slaves to my delusion
You’re my chosen enemy,
and I’m your shameful parody

Stripped and crude and unadorned
Truth is vulnerable scorn
There I slander, here confine
as lust and lewdness intertwine

I am dressed
I’m served for you
Human dross brought on a plate
Go get your forks
and knives and sate
And Feast, Feast, Feast
Hang me on the highest tree,
so that every soul could not but see

„He who has an ear, let him hear“
She who has an eye, let her witness

Black Hole Reign

Nails and Bones
Veins and Thrones
From Ivory
Harsh and Holy
Brick on brick
From time to space
Show me your face
Epiphany

Gracious empress, restless you
keep me here, make me your tool
that I may never escape from that labyrinth of yours

Fomented by sorrows hollow laughter,
that I may never reach to the very heart of certainty

Breast-feed me with the inks
for your pristine picture,
our common chapter

dripping veins
homesick stains
gushing frames
I am braving infinity

Black hole reign
Your Queendom
your perfect picture
Heaven without stars

Black hole benediction
Black hole valediction
Valediction
Benediction
Black hole
A Heaven without stars

Begging Substance

Who is who inside of you
If god is dead, what ‚bout you
Here we shiver, there we scatter
Not for worse nor for the better

Merely our reason keeps us grounded
Dignity and scorn compounded
All our motions keen, erratic
Our imagery antiqued and static

Obsess me! Feel me!
Fill me! Fullfil me!
Seduce me! Endow me!
Defile me! Deliver me!

Let my life be more than a collection of photographs blurring the line
Let my death be more than a grave full of souvenirs feigning shine

That ever flows, and ever grows
owes and bestowes
„we think in eternity but we move slowly through time“
One and another one after the other
„Pleasure for the beautiful bodies, pain for the beautiful souls“

Let my life be more than a collection of photographs blurring the line
Let my death be more than a grave full of souvenirs feigning shine

In such life where we are enslaved by what we do not dare to see
whereas in death we’ll forever be released into what we now try to flee

Salute sadness
Salute fear
Salute my precious
Oh death my dear

Collision…

Revelation of self
or translucency
all wherefores sink
into obscurity
this is the beauty
my daily bread
food for my soul
blows to my head

…And Coherence

„Rudderless, we drift athwart a tempest,
And when once the storm of youth is past,
Without lyre, without lute or chorus,
Death the silent pilot comes at last
And within the grave there is no pleasure,
For the blindworm battens on the root,
And desire shudders into ashes,
And the tree of passion bears no fruit“

Lead from a gash in a sense that marred
servants of failure
the fiercer the frailer
however essential I disregard

I’m reconciling with distress still
a hesitating urge that spills
from amidst these insights that I barred
that flash back solace worn and charred

Spade for spade I am shifting emotions
a flustering silence is catching a hold
My conscious is countered in this commotion
an elusive alignment as your spirit unfolds

One last wistful glance
it’s fading, it’s waning
Our last woeful dance
as I’m tumbling, restraining

Or have I fallen
already
for you?

Whoever Doesn’t Shine Is Darkness

Pulsating prophets dressed in sound
shapen landscapes, liven ground
Death talks a voice so hoarse
listen to his homily
Yet so honest how so dark
souls in liability

A hushing touch a frozen scream
then heavens vicious waters stream
Mother thunders birth of bolt
a tacit will, descending cold

Beyond bogs and groves and seas
amidst all these consecrated trees
embarassed in bareness
implanted in caress
Here I surrender
here I ease

You will find me in the light
come find me when the lightning strikes
I want
So let me
Shine

Nadir

Driven by the winds of grace
Her wings of faith struck thunder alike
Cutting invisible air into pieces

Amidst a sky that was all draped
in red and black she shaped
a therefore unseen crack
for the ever-first sunray to be laid

In that one foot that she only got
she held a seed
that housed the arcane recipe
for a whole world yet to come

When she was gently touching down
it shook the earth straight to it’s bone
yet there was noone here to frown
let alone to doubt nor moan
so the seed was planted upon oath
as a gift, as a promise of finite growth

Right after that first rain did fall
to complete the wholeness of giving birth
to answer on that humming call
that fertile wish of mother earth
in that incantatory moment
the world’s clockhand struck one
the conspiracy of health and sickness
gree and grudge has there begun

Now merely an echo of this moment
that our world’s clockhand struck one
the only salvation of this curse is penance
you and I have never done
the remedy of loss is prayers
you and I have never sung
the conspiracy of health and sickness
gree and grudge has never gone.